Just a mom

I am a MOM....
who loves my children,
that loves to stress about life,
who over schedules everything,
who is sometimes late,
who pushes my kids to try everything once,
who likes to say yes but sometimes mean no,
who would rather spend time with my children than go out with friends,
who admits in keeping one child home at a time just to spend time with them,
that hates drama,
that loves a clean house but still allows it to be messy,
Who has a toddler who doesn't like to sleep,
with a school boy who suddenly doesn't like school,
with a driving teen,
with a pre teen driven by adrenalin ,
who has the need to give lots of love,
A mom who is sometimes exhausted but find myself awake looking at the ceiling....
who stands up for my children,
who can cry over the smallest milestones,
who can't wait to see what my children become,
that really wants to slow down time,
I am a mom
who wonders why other parents don't accept the wrong their children do,
that knows we do not need pets,
that wonders if I should clean that other bathroom or let them continue,
that allows my children to wear pajamas all day,
who neglects chores to play,
that would spend every second with my family if possible,
who has guilt,
who eats way to much some days and not enough most days,
who goes to the gym not to work out but to get a break,
who blogs while at the gym,
who gets scared,
with anxiety,
I am a mom who thinks about every piece of food that goes into my children's mouth.
I am just a MOM who loves my children.....

I am doing this from my phone so please forgive me....

Tonight I heard the strangest words out of Lauren's mouth. "Mom Emily is about to be 17." I know you are wondering what is strange about that but it is the first time I have heard one of her classmates will be 17 and it instantly made me think...OH MY GOD Lauren will soon be 17! That is just so strange to me. I keep thinking from the moment she turned 16 time is flying by. I am not ready for the day she moves out and goes away to school. I am not ready for her to have her own place. I am not ready for her to have a serious relationship. I have so many not ready moments! I am pretty positive these last 2 years are going to fly by.


I also have some GREAT NEWS! Natalie made the Volleyball team at school! Yippee! I am so excited for her. She always tries her hardest and makes it.

Ok so as we get on with our week...we did not make the Gastro Appointment at TCH. The night before I had a voice mail with a lady confirming the appointment and also telling me due to a recent flu outbreak we can not bring siblings,other children and if either of us have a runny nose,sore throat or any other symptom we have to first be flu tested upon arrival. WHAT?!? OK I can respect that completely. The appointment is in the Children's Hospital.
So we wake up yesterday and Lauren has the worst sore throat ever. That child can not catch a break ever! I took her to the doctor because she had fever and her throat seemed pretty swollen. He sent us home with antibiotics and of course if it gets any worse call him. Guess what? She woke up this morning with high fever and her neck swollen. Told you she doesn't get a break. She is now getting a shot of antibiotics. Poor girl.

So this mid-morning I decide to change things up a bit and head over to the Library. We normally go every Tuesday but I wanted to try a younger (3-4) class. JACKPOT! We found our new class and I love it! Wait..I mean the girls love it. I truly love taking them to these things. They had alot of fun and Ashlynn actually danced and played along. I think her dance experience was just an off day the other day.

So I forgot to mention NATALIE! She is trying out for Volleyball at school. Yes already...they started tryouts the 2nd day and she is so excited. I wish at her age I was as brave as she is. She always wants to try everything. I think it is awesome!
She was also put in a harder math class this year. When she found out she panicked bad. I went to take her out of the class for fear that it would be to much for her. (She is in Pre-AP everything.)As I stood in the line I thought to myself why am I taking her out? Is it going to be that big of a difference? So I stepped out of line and decided she needs the more challenging class. She is so smart she can do it.

I think I need to add a picture to this post just to make you smile...

Back to School

Oh the first day of School can be so exciting....a new beginning for everyone and another year of milestones,first,games and so much more. I will start this out by telling you it is so very quiet in our house right now. It is a bit of a weird thing because Nick gave up his naps at the start of Summer. So everyday when the little ones took a nap he was right beside me talking up a storm. I really don't think I was able to accomplish any thing all summer long. Really I don't care but it is just so dang quiet right now.

So we made the decision to go ahead and put Nick into school. Not daycare or Mother's Day Out but Monday thru Friday 8 to 3 public school. I had several reasons I was not ready and more reasons he was ready. I felt like he had "outgrown" being at home. He was very curious and wanted to venture out and learn more. I beat myself up about it nearly all summer long until the last minute I decided this was best for him. He was begging and craving school. Yes I said that! I have never had a little one want school so much and it really made me sad only because who doesn't want to keep their little guy home all day everyday.
So we went to meet the teacher night...I cried hard
We got his school supplies...I cried alot
We bought his back pack...yes I cried
The night before school started I had nightmares like you can't imagine. But I was very positive because he was so dang excited. I guess alot of this comes from the things going on during my pregnancy with him. I lost the only stable parent that was ever in my life to a horrible accident. I now have a fear of accidents and I am sure everyone knows about it now. Then when Nick was born he was on life support then in the level III NICU. I felt like 3 weeks had been taken away from us that I will never get back I know every mother has their story but I am so attached to him it is unreal.
ANYWAYS...
First Lauren woke at 5:30 and started getting ready. She was out the door by 6:50 and it was so strange for the first time in 11 years not to take her to school on the first day. I was a little shocked but it was strange.
Then Natalie woke up and her and Nick got ready together..Natalie ended up riding with a friend since her school time and Nick's were about the same. I felt awful not taking her on her first day. I really think it is true the middle child often gets shoved to the side and somewhat forgotten. (we can save that subject for another day)

So here we are ready to take Nick for his first day of School. He is so excited as we are driving this long very silent drive. I looked out the window second guessing myself over and over. I literally felt like we were dropping him off to be put up for adoption. I am not kidding! We get to the school and I start crying! Yes again...
Once we got to his class and he jumped into a seat and excitedly picked up a pencil and started drawing I thought WOW he is a big boy now! I looked around the room and other kids were crying and hanging on to their parents and here Nick was ready to get his day started. I was so proud of him and he seriously had to tell us "I am ok, you can leave now"



The day went on and I decided to sign Ashlynn up for a dance class....nope! Not gonna do it. She had no interest and really didn't care.
We spent the rest of the day not knowing what to do. Yes I said WE as in Daddy took the day off for the 1st day. As the day went on the girls and I decided to make a snack bag for Nick and wait for him out front for the bus stop.


So it kept getting later and later and about an hour of waiting I called the Bus Barn, no answer. I try not to panic because it is the first day and I expect things to be behind. Finally after an hour and a half here comes the bus and OH YES I CRIED! I was so freaking worried and a basket case ( I hid it well as we stood with all the neighbors and kids waiting to see him.) He was still smiling and looking exactly as we left him that morning.
I was so excited when Lauren,Natalie and Nick all came home. I felt like a hyper little doggy asking a million questions to all 3 of them and not even giving anyone a chance to finish. I love to hear everything about the day they had. I want to know about each class, who is in it, what the teacher is like, how the class looks, who did you sit with at lunch, was it loud, what did you eat..and the list goes on.
As you can imagine at the end of the day everyone was exhausted.

Notice the little girls sitting with Nick? Those are his Best Friends and he loves them all so much.

I thought I would try to get away with Nick and Ashlynn having a birthday party together while they are small. I was a little nervous but it worked out GREAT! We decided to rent the San Jacinto. I really didn't think the weather would hold up for us but at the last minute it was great!
Thank you everyone who came!

Natalie had her first Cheer performance last night at the school she will be attending. She was so nervous but did great!


Afterwards we got to pick up her new schedule and walk from class to class. We are so excited for her and can't wait to see what this year brings her. She will also be trying out for volleyball next week on the second day of school.

So I have been getting a call from Texas Children's Hospital daily since Ashlynn's last appointment with her doctor. I was so frustrated with her last visit I had decided I am going to take this in my own hands and just keep an eye on things and make sure she is developing and staying on track while staying happy. If I see anything change or become different I will then make a change(again). On Thursday they called again, I answered and the lady explained who she was and she was with TCH Gastro Department and they want to see Ashlynn. I was fully prepared to say no thank you and explain why until she said we have a 6-9 mths waiting period for appointments but we would like to see Ashlynn next week.I was not expecting that so my mind suddenly started going a million miles an hour. OK so here we are and she has a few symptoms re appear but no vomiting so I can kind of deal with it but I still know something is going on with her. My heart told me take the appointment. Take it and see what they have to say. It could all be something simple,something she eats that we don't realize. I have her on a lot of soy products,organic and vegetarian. But I just don't want her being poked and scared. So on the 25th of this month we will be dragging on to TCH to see what they say. I am so nervous about this appointment this time. Maybe because I have no idea how to even get there, what to expect and I know Terry can't go.

I love Summer but I am sure ready for it to be over. It is way to hot for anything.
Unless you are a two year old little girl who loves water! We go swimming just about every other night but Ashlynn would much rather us turn on the sprinkler for her to play in.

Two years ago today I gave my husband the best birthday gift ever.....

Ashlynn Michelle came into our lives on August 12 and she has forever changed everyone! She demands every ones attention non stop and we love her for that. I really think she has the strongest personality in the house.



Anyone who knows me well knows I was very upset when I found out I was pregnant. I even hid it from most of our friends for 6 mths (thats as long as I could).
I look back now and I have no idea why I was so worried. She fits into our lives perfectly. Ashlynn was the tiny piece missing that completed our family.



This morning we went to Denny's with her friends Lindsey,Zoe and of course Nick and Lauren. We will be having her birthday party next week at a pool and I can't wait to tell you all about it!

These two make me want to be LITTLE AGAIN! They have so much fun together no matter what they have to play with.

While I am on here I will post a picture of Ashlynn's belly. I swear I don't obsess on her size but I pay very close attention to it. I am constantly watching what people give her to drink or eat. I have to, if she has milk we all pay for it. Same goes for gluten. I am going to show you this picture and keep in mind we have kept her on a fairly good gluten free diet. I however made the mistake of giving her Lactose free milk instead or Soy milk. I thought maybe it is the lactose and not actually the milk. We knew before she finished her cup of Lactose free milk that she needed to switch back to the Soy. I felt horrible!
So I am happy to say that since we have had to be so "picky" we have all started noticing changes in our bodies. I have also learned to cook several things homemade instead of from a can. I have been reading label after label in the stores and am shocked over some of the "junk" in the foods. Yes I am turning into a health freak! I feel like I have to and want to.

This is Ashlynn's belly when she is grouchy and bloated. Her belly is HUGE!

We packed up and went looking for a picture place....