I have obviously known for a while Lauren will be leaving for College at the end of summer. She has been little by little packing her room up and shopping for dorm items. I have been planning the change of her room not really thinking about how different things will be in our house. No more fighting with her sister, helping with the little kids, laundry pile a tiny bit smaller and so much more. I have also noticed in the past few weeks I think I have put a small wall up. I think we tend to protect ourselves and our children from being hurt without really knowing it is happening. I had no idea I had been doing this but the other day I realized I was different. I thought about it and thought about it and I think I was trying to push space between us to "protect" both of us. Once I noticed it I immediately stopped and told her what was going on. Now keep in mind I have known for a while she is moving...but tonight I said out loud "Lauren will be moving in 18 days" I think I almost passed out. I teared up, got nauseated and wanted to hide in the closet. I'm not sure how this is going to work out. I know she is grown and comes and goes as she wants but I'm going to miss her so bad. I am going to worry, cry, be lost and so sad. I have to say I am very excited for her and this new start but so scared.