Here is something I have never talked about with anyone...

I felt the need to log on and add this bit~ I am not complaining about my life in any way. I felt I needed to vent after something I saw and I would not trade this life for anything in this world!


Being married to a Deputy. I was very aggravated today when I saw a derogatory post on a Facebook status. I normally don't care when people say stuff and believe me I hear it all. I am not sure if people say stuff and don't think but I really have heard people say "ugh I hate cops, I got another ticket", "he was just having a bad day or I wouldn't have been stopped", "there I was waving my arms trying to flag the stupid cop down and he just kept on driving" Oh that is not even the worst. I hear it all.

So today I am going to tell you what it is like in my eyes to be married to a deputy. Maybe people just think they drive around all day eating donuts and giving tickets. Clearly that is not the case with all Officers. People are quick to judge and I try not to say much and laugh it off.

I met my Best Friend 7 years ago. My first instinct was keep on going he is a cop and I am not going down that road. Not only that he was very very cute. All the ladies and residents in my office would giggle at him, talk about how cute he was and go on and on. I really tried not to pay attention to him or them. I was given a piece of advice several years ago (12 maybe 15) from someone who turns out to be one of his co workers. He said "I know you are young but you need to stay away from the guns and badge". I will never forget that and I have no idea why. The words went through my mind over and over the first few days after Terry and I met. Something about him was different. He was gentle,kind,quiet and loving.

As time went by I knew he was the "one". It was just one of those feelings I couldn't fight. Sure he looked absolutely gorgeous dressed for work and maybe I loved the fact women giggled and gawked as he passed by. He was just "different" I had to keep him. I have never been one to "work at a relationship" when times got tough I would just move on. I knew from day one he was worth fighting for,working for and whatever else I needed to do.

So it turns out we got Married. We didn't do this right away so I would lay in bed at night dreaming about being his wife. I would Dream about the glamour that came with being the wife of a Deputy. The title,the status and everything else. I know I know that sounds so goofy but I really did. I imagined what it would be like to have our kids say "my daddy is a police man".

So I will tell you all about this "Glamorous" lifestyle. I had to instantly adjust to a lot of things. One thing I remember in the beginning was calling him on his cell phone and in the middle of talking the tone on his radio would sound. He would scramble to let me go and there I would be sitting in mid sentence phone in hand hoping and praying he would not get into a wreck going to that priority call. I would think in my head of all the times I have watched as people continued to go thru an intersection as a cop was blaring thru it. Every time this would happen for the next year or so I would cringe.
I would also instantly pray that once he got to that disturbance there would not be a heavily drugged up person waiting to have a "suicide by cop" or waiting to do whatever bad things they do. I would desperately sit and wait for that text that said "I am OK". We have had a ton of conversations in the past 7 years that have been interrupted by other peoples needs. I am not complaining at all!

I also learned that Police don't always get a lunch break. I can't tell you how many times my husband has come home from work and not been able to stop to potty or even have lunch. I had to learn that if we meet for lunch while he is on duty he may and will have to jump up and leave us and his lunch. I just finish eating and throw his away. I have been starred at while eating with him. Commented to and had to hear "do you know So and So?" Not to mention all the other stuff people stop and say. I however do love when people walk up and thank him for his hard work. It makes me proud.

I can tell you not a day goes by that I don't say at least 20 prayers for my husband. A simple traffic stop can turn fast. Things can go downhill so fast and I really don't think other people realize this.

I have also learned that Holidays are days that most families argue, fight and get depressed. My husband works during most Holidays when others are sitting home all snugly with their families. I try to make the most of the situation and enjoy what we have. Even if that means getting up at 4am to have Christmas so that he can be at work on time. I have learned to work around all holidays to fit my Husband's schedule. Yes I share him and I do it proudly. People do need him as bad as I do.

Going out to eat has changed forever. As we walk into a restaurant I can see his eyes scanning the entire place. He is looking for all exits,doors,escapes and making eye contact. He is looking at everyone and everything trying to remember it all. He will sit facing the door or facing everyone. I never understood it at first but it all makes sense now.He is working,protecting and making sure his family will have a way out. Simple things like going to the Hardware store or Walmart seem to be different. He will do whatever it takes to protect his family. He will see someone he recognises from time to time after putting someone in jail. He will say very little while scurrying us away. I don't stop him because chances are it is for a reason. I have heard a million times "be aware of your surroundings","don't leave anything in the car", "lock the doors". At times I have wanted to yell at the top of my lungs "I AM NOT A TEENAGER!" But I had to learn that there are people out there who will recognize him and hate him. You may not hear it on the news everyday but people are very cruel.

I have learned he is human and has bad days. He will have days he comes home laughing and days he just needs a shoulder. I had to learn to understand he hears and will see very disturbing things daily and he has to deal with these things. If he wants to talk about it I am here to listen. I will let him open up pour his heart out and I will console him. After all he is a human. If you or I had to deal with 1 bad call we would immediately break down. He has to be strong daily and not fall down. He has to listen to people argue,fight,cuss him out and demean him. He is not to be offended by the hateful actions of others.

His job is not just a job. This is his life. I have learned he is a Deputy 24/7. I have learned to respect that and even the things that seem so silly to me are real life situations for him. I have learned he is prepared for all situations at all times. I have learned to not be annoyed or offended when he comments on my speed or driving abilities.I have also learned he will go above and beyond to protect others.

Having that Patrol car in our driveway is another thing...I feel like a target at times. Sure the neighbors think it is great having a car out front. Well I have sat awake at night thinking about that criminal recognizing his car and wanting to do something just to be mean.

We have been at our children's sporting events and learned not to mention what he does. People always complain,treat us different, want help with a ticket or will tell us about the DWI they were given and ask what they can do in court to beat it. Yes I am serious.

I lay next to my husband at night and have wondered why he is jumping in his sleep. Is he having nightmares? Is he that worn out? I pray for his safety non stop. I never want to know what it feels like to lose him or explain to the kids any of that.

I have worked extra hard to make sure everything in our home is perfect. He knows very little about bills, finances or anything stressful. I feel as if this is my way of making sure he doesn't have to worry about anything at home while he is trying to protect and serve.

I am so proud to be his wife. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. He is so dedicated to his job, his work ethics are amazing. He was made for this job. He quit a higher paying job to do this 20 years ago. He is more dedicated to helping others than anyone I have ever known. He spends hours away from his family to protect other people's families. He is not lazy,crooked,doesn't have a chip on his shoulder, carries his badge with pride and has never once complained about working late to help others. He lives each day fully prepared to lay down his life to protect others. He faces others with nothing to gain but everything to lose. I truly think he begins each day knowing it could be his last.

Every morning without fail he kisses my forehead. He thinks I am asleep but honestly I am awake waiting for what could be my first or last kiss of the day.

I could go on and on but I will stop here because my little eyes have filled with tears just thinking about all that he does.



"Hate cops? Next time you're in trouble, call a crackhead." Let me know how that works out for ya!