I wrote this letter a few years ago but I came across it tonight and thought I would share it. I miss him dearly and not a day goes by I don't think of him.

04/04/08

Dad
Hey,
A lot has happened in the 3 years that you have left us. We bought our first house that we just fell in love with the moment we walked into it. Do you remember me telling you about it? I was so excited and you seemed that way to. We have done a lot of work to it but not as much as we want to do. ( I still get side tracked real easy!) I called to tell you when we finished with closing but you didn't answer. Did you already leave? Could you hear the phone and just couldn't answer? Was it my phone call that distracted you and caused the accident?
Lauren is getting big, she is 14 now!! Wow did you ever think that would happen? She is such a better daughter than I was. She will be starting High School this next school year and we are excited but very scared at the same time. I know I have done a great job raising her, she is so happy, polite, smart and just sweet as can be. Yesterday she tried out for cheerleader and now we are very excited to get the results back today. I really don't know who is more nervous, her or me.
Natalie is 9 now, still that little firecracker that is always on the go! She still loves to play sports and hang with the big kids ( will that ever change) She is turning into such a little lady so fast, her grades are good but I worry about her and peer pressure. Natalie seems to be a bit like I was. She always wants to impress and make friends. It is getting a little scary but I am trying my best to lead her in the right direction. This next school year she will be going into 5th grade and so far I have to say things have been smooth and we hope to keep it that way!
You never got to meet Nicholas (he is 2 now) but I can tell you he would be your little buddy. I just know you two would have been doing so much together! Remember how you used to have the girls help you with the deer feeders? He would have loved doing that with you. He is such an outdoor kid, he loves so much in life. He is such an innocent little guy. Sometimes I just look at him and cry because I see you in him. Yea I know that is silly but his blue eyes, the way he loves to rock, and his love of being outside remind me of you. I never knew a little boy could be so much fun and have so much love for a mom. Your mom must have been so lucky to have you for a son. He had a rough little start into this world and to be honest with you I begged and prayed that I would have time with him before you got to. I knew you wouldn't think I was selfish for that.
Terry And I are doing great, we are so happy in love and you were so right when you said he was the one! You told me I would know true love when I found it, thank you for that. We stay busy with the kids, work, house stuff, and each other. Wow can you believe when he called you and asked for your blessing to marry me. I know that made you so happy and no I did not put him up to that. He makes me happy and is just the best. I truly don't know how I would have made it thru this without him. He is such a gentle, loving, caring man. He also kind of reminds me of you. Remember how you would get mad at me but you were quiet or when you were just pushed and pushed you finally would say something? He is the same. He will do anything for anyone in need. Just like you. Was he placed into my life to calm me down, give me patience, settle me or to take over your job as a caring person in my life? I just have to wonder.
Hey do you remember in March before you left hugging me and telling me no matter what happened you would always love me and be proud of me? Did you know you would be leaving us soon? You called me a few times in the next few weeks just to say I love you. Wow if I could just turn back time, you wouldn't be the one gone. You shouldn't have left so soon. You were An awesome Paw Paw with so much love, joy and patients. Did I mention you were a great dad? What a great man your mom raised you to be! You came into my life when I needed guidance. You had love for me from the beginning.
I really hope Terry has the patients with the girls when he teaches them how to drive like you had for me, well except that one day I turned the corner going about 40 and you said STOP THE CAR AND LET ME OUT! I still can not believe you walked home! I was shocked but I laughed about it when I got home and you were STILL walking!
OH YEA we are expecting our next baby in AUGUST! I said NO MORE after Nicholas I meant it. But this little person just popped into our lives and will be loved like the rest. I find out on your birthday if it is a boy or a girl, and I thought about changing the date but I figured it would just be another meaningful little date for us. So a lot has changed around here in 3 years, I could go on and on but to be honest with you I know you are with us everyday! Lauren has told me a few times she will be sitting alone in our living room and she smells you. We both say you are always around.
I know it wasn't your fault but you gave me the toughest job in the world. I had to tell the girls you left. It took me 24hrs to figure out what to say! That was the worst, hardest and most awful job ever. I am not mad at you for it but it hurt so bad. Well I love you alot and miss you a ton. They say time heals but so far I believe whoever made that up has never lost their dad. Not a day goes by that we don't miss you, love you or just need you by our side. I really hope when you left you knew how much I love you and how much the kids adored you.
Well Bye for now and just remember I will always love you no matter what!